A Night In With The Queen of Charity Shops

I wasn’t able to volunteer in Nottingham this week but fortunately the BBC have given me and us all a good fix of Save the Children shop action on the television last night. I feel obliged to respond.

Overall there is much I recognise.

Firstly the contents of a typical donation bag.

The terrible clothes (we turned ours into a fancy dress display which does very well with the Trent Bridge cricket fan market), outdated books (anyone want an encyclopedia that still thinks that Czechoslavakia is a country?) and most bizzarely a half eaten scotch egg (before you ask, no I didn’t finish it off).

Fortunately though for our shop we have our own ‘Queen of Charity Shops’. Her name is Lynn and she keeps our shop looking prim, proper and practically perfect in every way.

I also concluded that Graham could easily be Orpington’s ‘T’. A man who should be drowning in a sea of women yet thriving and managing to epitimose all that is virtuous about the shop helper. I loved watching him get into his stride on the cake stall.

It was most reassuring that this volunteering spirit was what most impressed our retail guru.

Voluntary support is a shop’s most valuable resource. If every store can professionalise without extingushing those flames of altruism Save the Children can become a place of undoubted quality on the high street.

Before I sign off for this week. 

Dear Save the Children Retail Department.

Just three questions, really quick ones I promise.

1- I always thought we weren’t meant to sell knickers?

You see I have these six pairs of french knickers *cough* boxer shorts I mean, that I need to get rid of before my girlfriend comes to Nottingham in a week and a half.

2- Where are my red shop volunteer overalls?

3- Please can I meet the ladies of Orpington? They look like good fun. As long as they don’t make me do a pants swap in the changing room.